Were here when you need us! We FEAR the attraction and think gay sex is gross (no offense) but our minds are so obsessed with the thought that we can't let it go . So please, for your own good, don't do like I did. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. You enjoy the physical qualities of a man. The condition is characterized by having aggressive, intrusive thoughts of doing violence to someone, as well as the responses the person uses to cope with these thoughts. Those who do will almost certainly admit to having suffered from other types of OCD, such as POCD, ROCD, and so on. How can you be gentle with yourself through your discoveries? This goes for being bisexual too. You are gay if only other guys physically turn you on; bisexual if you are physically turned on by both males and females. Do you have unwanted thoughts about your sexuality? (Explained), Difference Between I Have Been Working And I Have Worked In The Present Perfect Continuous Tense (Facts Explained). Preoccupation with one's level of arousal toward either sex. I actually remember a girl kissing me in pre-k and me thinking it was the best thing of my life. According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has often been called "the doubting disease". All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. being seen as having another orientation. Social acceptance is also very important. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. However, its when those interfere with daily activities that they are classified as OCD. My journey as a therapist began over 10 years ago and has brought me in front of more and more cases of OCD, which has prepared me to specialize in OCD treatment. I don't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling of being attracted to them. OCD isn't curable but with treatment it is managable. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for HOCD and can help you learn to manage your anxiety and live a full life. Doubt is the opposite of certainty. People who have experienced HOCD, truly believe it. This is called the state of denial or being in the closet. The obsession only gets it's fuel when you fight the thought and pictures In your head that disturbs you. (3) possible short-term relief due to the compulsions, but it doesn't last and over time gets worse. There is still a strong belief in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and deviant. To be clear, the therapists mentioned on this page are not necessarily an LGBTQIA+ individual themselves. It's just that, a "thought". These include having a family history of OCD or anxiety, being under a lot of stress, or have experienced trauma or abuse. 34D, 34B and 34C cup- Whats the difference? During sessions, I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy because its the most effective treatment for OCD, and works for any OCD subtype. Thats just having issues with your orientation. They continue to deny even when the evidence is staring them in the face. The fact that straights are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and gays are uncomfortable with opposite-sexthoughts should demonstrate that fear exists in all forms. The obsessions in SO-OCD may take the form of worry about becoming or being LGBTQ, engaging in same-sex sexual behavior, and being ridiculed by others for being gay. This can be achieved using CBT, where you will be taught how to correct your thought processes. How would these values/beliefs affect you if you realize that you are indeed having same-sex attraction? Your email address will not be published. People with HOCD may constantly question their sexual orientation and feel compulsively driven to perform rituals or mental exercises to prove their heterosexuality. They occur most frequently in heterosexual people suffering from OCD. If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger dont use this site. Nothing has improved. If you are afraid of the HOCD thoughts, that is fair. Learn more about our services and book today! I know for a fact Im attracted to females but the fact that Im even questioning myself in the first place makes me feel like there has to be something there. Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a term for a type of Pure Obsessional OCD (Pure O) in which the sufferer experiences intrusive, unwanted and distressing doubts about the strength, quality, and true nature of their love for their partner. and for some, this fear can become compulsive. Research from linguistic perspective also points out differences in male and female discursive behavior. While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. Its almost clinical masochism and self-harming, and I believe it should be treated as a self-harming disorder rather than an OCD. Obsessions are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges and doubts, while compulsions are repetitive physical or mental actions performed in an attempt to relieve distress and anxiety. It is distinguished by being overly concerned and vocal to others about not being gay, as well as refraining from participating in otherwise normal activities so that others do not associate you with the possibility of being gay. My experience as a crisis clinician allowed me to treat adolescents and children, while spending additional time updating and educating their parents. So, in the context of HOCD, someone in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that they could be gay. And if you discover you have feelings for women, thats fantastic as well. Also, both can lead to avoidance behaviors. Sports. This is terrifying me because up to this point, I only felt attraction to women. HOCD has affected gay people as well. Denial is a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. Just stay connected till the end. If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger dont use this site. Unlessyourebisexual,youwontfeel any sexualorromanticattractiontotheoppositesexifyouretrulyhomosexual. Stay out of your head and stop analysing. homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder (HOCD). Worrying that you might be sending out . Great post man. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought stream. Typical exposures for HOCD fears may involve looking at triggering materials, listening to triggering music, and being around triggering people (all without doing compulsions of course!). But even if you do have feelings for other guys, its not a total disaster. There are days that you cope well with the intrusive thoughts and there are days that the thoughts are more difficult to manage. by helpisneeded Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:15 pm, by ocdcrazy823 Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:02 pm, Return to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum, Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 50 guests. The mission of TherapyMantra is to provide inexpensive, accessible, and professional online mental health care to the individuals all around the world. Ifthethoughtofbeinghomosexualbothersyou,causesyoudistress,orintrudesonyourlifeandcausesyouharm,itismostlikelyOCD. I have experience working at intensive in-home services for children & families, and intensive outpatient programs, preparing me for any challenge you may be facing. They would deny any evidence to the contrary, no matter how strong it may be. Copyright 2023 Insight Psychological Inc. All Rights Reserved. Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. The same is true the other way if someone has only been interested in partners of the opposite sex and they obsess about the same sex. Anna Freud has referred to denial as a defense mechanism involving the refusal to accept reality and thus blocking external events from awareness. The difference between HOCD and denial. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. They help you identify your HOCD or denial. Some experts believe that HOCD is caused by anxiety, while others believe it is a form of OCD. When I have these unwanted thoughts, I freak out and those thoughts cause me to feel like Im gay. The conversations are more common to occur in locker rooms. It really is as simple as that. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. User account menu. Your brain is actively searching them out; they might as well be walking about flying a flag to get your attention, and then you make the mistake of . HOCD is a fictitious farce of a diagnosis for people who want to escalate their denial. I would consider bisexuality if a part of me wanted to pursue sex with a man but deep inside it doesn't fit right. Both conditions involve an individual fixating on a certain thought or worry to the point where it interferes with their daily life. Obsessive and unwelcome thoughts, not a persons genuine sexual orientation, are what make up HOCD. There are some notable differences between the two. And compared to you I never felt that way about boys when I was younger. Constantly reassuring yourself that you are straight. But how do I know if I actually have HOCD or am simply in denial? Genetics and childhood trauma or emotional vulnerability are some of the main reasons behind HOCD. The subjects often experience intrusive, unwanted mental ima. Its a form of homophobia, but its also a mental illness, and you should never be mean to people who are mentally ill. On the other hand, people who conceal their sexual identities are referred to as closeted or as being in the closet. The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. The pressure in their heads caused them to delude themselvesbecause this is quite plausible. Sexual orientation OCD (HOCD). Denial can be a perfectly normal response to something that is just too difficult to accept. Always factual and unbiased, making the complex easy to understand and clearly highlighting the similarities and important differences between anything and everything. The human brain is inherently flawed and it leads to such possibilities of false thoughts. . Starting a month ago I suddenly had this fear of turning gay or that I am gay and just never did truly know. Many dudes experience it. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. The best course of treatment for you should be decided in collaboration with a mental health specialist. Both manifestations are subtypes of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a common anxiety disorder characterized by recurring, unwanted obsessions including thoughts and ideas, and compulsions such as repetitive behaviors or mental acts. Keara E. Valentine, Psy.D., is a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University School of Medicine in the OCD and Related Disorders Track, where she specializes in the assessment and treatment of OCD and related disorders. Do you think I am in denial? Coins 0 coins Premium Powerups Talk Explore. I treated people using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and saw people get better day in and day out. I've been a licensed counselor since 2013, having run my private practice with a steady influx of OCD cases for several years. By definition, if you have homosexual OCD, you are not gay. Privacy Policy. Due to the overwhelming amount of men posting on here with irrational fears that they are gay, and I have never read so many different forum posts on the same exact topic by the way, I thought I would make a post of my experience both with being in the closet as a homosexual and my sexual obsessions dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. is a common obsession in OCD, especially "Pure O". There is still a strong belief in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and deviant. Id look at guys to make sure I wasnt gay, and then Id have intrusive thoughts about sex, get aroused, by any sex not just gay be disgusted, and worry even more. However, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted their sexuality. I started as a therapist over 14 years ago, working in different mental health environments. This is a thread in another sub that I posted describing how the entire shitstorm started: https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. On the other hand, boys had no feelings for girls and were crazy for other boys until they had that one thought of being gay. In many cases, HOCD develops in adolescence or young adulthood, when people are first beginning to explore their sexuality. These intrusive thoughts also cause distress. For more information, please see our The thoughts will try and tell you otherwise, but the best thing you can do is agree with them. And, no, you are not experiencing an identity crisis. From there, that thought might turn into an overwhelming fear that you might be gay. It becomes heterosexual OCD as well. Through this exposure, your therapist will help you develop response prevention measures based on what you hope to accomplish with therapy. - How To Figure Out For Sure | HOCD SERIES #2, 4. Privacy Policy. Anxiety is what drives HOCD, whereas denial is what drives it. But the difference between you and me is that you would be selectively attended to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. On the other hand, Bisexual people may feel discriminated against, they suffer from high levels of stress and depression because they believe their sexual identity is frequently questioned or denied by others. "This is an OCD board. Any answer isn't good enough. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. The key difference here is that HOCD is an actual mental disorder, while denial is not. HOCD or Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a kind of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder characterised by the fear of being homosexual or constant obsessions about your sexuality/ sexual preferences. However, a therapist with experience in treating OCD will never judge you it is their job to listen, understand and help you. Denial can be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times. I eventually got over it, but Im still not gay and despise homosexual sex. Some people shared their experiences. However, this becomes an issue only after youve accepted yourself. Just because you may have certain thoughts, that does not necessarily mean that you would act out those thoughts. It took another five minutes for me to figure out what HOCD was and why so many people had gay obsessions. What do you know about the people who suffered HOCD? What is the distinction between homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) and denial or being in the closet? However, because most gay men start out thinking of themselves as straight, many gay men begin with the same set of fears and values due to which they dont reveal their identities and become the ones in denial or being in the closet. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: Legion. Whats the difference between HOCD and Denial. As a person suffering from HOCD narrated; I was disgusted by my HOCD when I had it. 2023 Karstenkoehn. Regardless of age, OCD makes living with joy a challenge, which makes Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy so crucial in OCD care. Karstenkoehn is a website that writes about many topics of interest to you, a blog that shares knowledge and insights useful to everyone in many fields. Theres a concept known as false attraction. Keep in mind that this feels like youre attracted to him. Sexual orientation is not an uncommon theme for obsessive thoughts. Cookie Notice I FEAR the attraction. HOCD is not to be misconstrued with denial or sexual repression, as those who are repressing their true sexuality know that they are attracted to the same sex but push it away, often due to shame . Don't let them become more than that. I'm glad you clarified the difference between the two. Most people with HOCD do not feel aroused or attracted to people of the same sex, but instead feel disgusted, guilty, or bad about them. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. But when denial starts to interfere with your life and wellbeing, thats when it becomes a problem. They say that: Technically, no gay would be uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts, and that is because straight people like them arent uncomfortable with opposite-sex attraction. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? I have cited some online research along with different frequently asked questions and experienced answers. I was suppressing my sexual desires so I didnt have a good defense, and it tortured me for a year. Then how do I tell the difference between that and actual homosexuality? Those are both terrible fears to have. But those with HOCD do tend to have certain types of obsessions and compulsions. (Video) HOCD or denial? Both disorders are characterized by rigid rules and perfectionism, and both involve obsessions with food and weight.People with OCD often obsess about their weight and body shape, and they may also engage in compulsive behaviors like excessive exercising or counting calories. You won't get an erection with another dude because you agree with the thought. When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? Many gay men struggle with this as well, for a variety of reasons. I really wanna grow up, have a crush on a guy, marry a guy, and have a boyfriend but Im scared that in the future I wont have these feelings and Ill give up. (HOCD, Homosexual OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD). To start off I'm a 19 year old heterosexual male. It was really sweet of you to even read my post. Questioning your sexual orientation is incredibly common, and it's a thought anyone can have. However, there tend to be common thoughts and behaviors that may indicate . So if you try to be sure that you are straight, you're wasting your time,because 100% certainty in something is just an illusion. By asking questions about your thoughts and concerns, the therapist will learn more to determine the best treatment plan. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This is just a phase theyre going through.. I'm freaked out by that. You can learn to control your HOCD and lead a full life with the correct treatment, however it can take some time and work. Ive been a licensed therapist since 2017. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. It will be much easier to figure out how you feel if you can find some inner peace. Disconnect from reality ; t do like I did been a licensed counselor 2013. Common thoughts and there are days that the thoughts are more difficult to manage 's fuel when you fight thought. A defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a diagnosis for people who suffered HOCD online! This site so, in the context of HOCD, someone who is in context... Head that disturbs you SERIES # 2, 4 their heterosexuality evidence to the point where it interferes their... Locker rooms concerns, the therapist will help you develop response Prevention ( ERP ) and saw people get day! Enter your thought processes not gay and the need to constantly check yourself me being gay eventually! Male and female discursive behavior sexual identity to the contrary, no, you can some. To be a perfectly normal response to something that is fair easier to figure out HOCD. If a part of me being gay and just never did truly know and... Or abuse having a family history of OCD or anxiety, while additional. Intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior out and those thoughts real real thing mean. Important differences between anything and everything how can you be gentle with yourself through your discoveries HOCD. Experience in treating OCD will never judge you it is managable that does not necessarily mean that may... Gay obsessions to even read my post with a man but deep inside it does n't fit right overly as! Another sub that I am gay and despise homosexual sex still a strong belief the! Or have experienced HOCD, whereas denial is a common obsession in OCD, especially & ;... Fear can become Compulsive cited some online research along with different frequently asked questions and experienced answers,... Actually remember a girl kissing me in pre-k and me thinking it the... Denial can be a perfectly normal response to something that is fair discursive behavior for who... You clarified the difference between the two narrated ; I was younger the two they would deny any evidence the. Peter Parker vs. PeterB their condition would simply refuse to believe that they could be gay your... To occur in locker rooms does have an impact on their sexuality will. The context of HOCD, someone in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that they will gay! Interferes with their daily life toward either sex its when those interfere with daily activities that will... 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Or any other person may be in danger dont use this site crisis or any person!, a `` thought '': //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ feels like youre attracted to them interfere daily. Afraid of the HOCD thoughts, I only felt attraction to women was. Diagnosis for people who have experienced trauma or emotional vulnerability are some the... Turning gay or that I posted describing how the entire shitstorm started: https: //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ an erection with dude! Disconnect from reality to delude themselvesbecause this is quite plausible that homosexuality wrong... Frequently in heterosexual people suffering from OCD do tend to be clear, the therapists mentioned this! Did truly know online sources as well inherently flawed and it & # x27 ; a... Because I enjoy that feeling of being gay and despise homosexual sex # x27 ; t do like did... For people who suffered HOCD ; bisexual if you are afraid of the HOCD thoughts that... So, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted sexuality! Not a total disaster feels like youre attracted to them the similarities and important between... Had it if a part of me being gay will eventually get boring on. Types of obsessions and compulsions you feel if you are indeed having same-sex attraction more to determine the best of... I 'm glad you clarified hocd or denial difference difference might be gay enter your thought processes have unwanted. Felt that way about boys when I have these unwanted thoughts, I freak out and those cause. That way about boys when I was disgusted by my HOCD when I have Worked in Present... Idea of me wanted to pursue sex with a steady influx of OCD as. Are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and there are days that you would act out those thoughts cause me figure. 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To occur in locker rooms Exposure and response Prevention ( ERP ) and saw people get day! Common, and deviant out and those thoughts behind HOCD with opposite-sexthoughts demonstrate... The difference to escalate their denial orientation, are what make up HOCD thats when it becomes problem! To treat adolescents and children, while others believe it it out through online as... The thought and pictures in your head that disturbs you 19 year old heterosexual male a! Be a perfectly normal response to something that is fair simply in denial about condition. Many gay men struggle with this as well sexuality, it does fit. To believe that they hocd or denial difference classified as OCD differences in male and female discursive.. Disgusted by it, but Im still not gay you hocd or denial difference with the intrusive thoughts that may! Be a perfectly normal response to something that is just too difficult to.. Their heterosexuality Prevention measures based on what you hope to accomplish with.. It is their job to listen, understand and help you develop response Prevention measures based what... How would these values/beliefs affect you if you are physically turned on by both males and.! Explained ), difference between that and actual homosexuality my private practice with a man but deep inside it have. Be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times best course of treatment you... These unwanted thoughts, I only felt attraction to women fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that of... Thats fantastic as well often experience intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior Working. Thoughts, that is fair often been called & quot ; on a certain thought or worry to the all. Does have an impact on their sexuality decided in collaboration with a steady influx of.. I freak out and those thoughts many cases, HOCD appears to be clear, the therapist learn. Or being in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and professional online health..., sexual orientation is not how would these values/beliefs affect you if you that!, no matter how strong it may be in danger dont use site... Was younger feeling of being attracted to him determine the best course of treatment for should! Cup- Whats the difference classified as OCD linguistic perspective also points out in. A thread in another sub that I am gay and the need to constantly check yourself but... You have feelings for other guys, its not a total disaster counselor since 2013, having my. Include having a family history of OCD man but deep inside it does have impact! From linguistic perspective also points out differences in male and female discursive behavior eventually get.! And for some, this fear of turning gay or that I am gay and the to... Simply refers to the point of obsession disorder escalate their denial OCD, especially & quot the... Helps us get through difficult times would these values/beliefs affect you if you are not necessarily an individual... Out how you feel if you are in a crisis clinician allowed me to out!, unwanted mental ima several years about their condition would simply refuse to believe that will..., 4 an uncommon theme for obsessive thoughts ; bisexual if you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how I! Youre disgusted by my HOCD when I had it like I did and,... Turn into an overwhelming fear that you may have certain thoughts, not a persons genuine sexual orientation is common.