My girlfriend of 4 years wants me to spend Christmas with her. It will create new ones. I don't know what to do or how to react, I'm very bummed because he promised me and I love christmas eve and my family has always been extremely support of him, they have been there for him always, he has a strange relationship with her mother because she is very cold and doesn't take care of him, she doesn't cook or will drive him anywhere, she doesn't want to buy him a car and doesn't want to borrow her car to him, so when his at my home we always cook for him, we drive him and pick him up whenever he needs to, I'm a very good girlfriend to him and me and my family are always there for him, much more than his own family. However, today i cooked a special dinner & hardly had any time to spend with him csuse he slept most of the day . Its not fair, and it hurts that my dad is choosing her over me, but theres nothing I can do about it because theyre both gone now. For example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith. If she isn't willing to compromise you too better not get married, cuz the holidays aren't any different or easier when you get married. What do I do? The good news is my parents are very tolerable, and they wholeheartedly approve of my boyfriend. Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. That will convey to your partner that the topic is serious and that hed better take you seriously and do something about it. & hes still saying we should go. That is complete BS. October 11, 2022 by Zan. My boyfriend spend the weekend with his ex. I don't want my family to feel like I no longer care about them. And she went away last year and I just had to deal with it. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Scan this QR code to download the app now. If you believe Wordfence should be allowing you access to this site, please let them know using the steps below so they can investigate why this is happening. I have been with my husband for eight years, but he isnt that loving to me. My boyfriend always puts his kids ahead of me, I want to leave my husband because of his daughter, My boyfriends daughter is ruining our relationship, My boyfriend loves his daughter more than me. I'm in pieces trying to figure this out. 1. I encourage fellow readers to reach out and share your experiences and opinions so that it may assist the writer and any future readers in similar circumstances. Unfortunately there is a very slim chance you will change this. Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. That's just my opinion though and I could be wrong. He has never spend christmas with me. What Girls & Guys Said. ZDllZmQ2NmU2YzU4Yzk0NzQ4ZTAxYjUxOGY5ZGQ0NzYxZDZjYzU0MTdhZTAy he has been divorced for 4 years and has 3 children aged 17,20 and 22. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. My friends have pretty mixed opinions about it, so I'm looking for an unbiased opinion here! Share your story below. Sometimes it even feels like you did a poor job raising her. My boyfriend eventually talked me off the ledge. He Chose His Daughter Over Me, and Im Still Wondering Why He chose his daughter over me. We are pretty serious. My brother never spent Christmas with his girlfriend, always came home to be with our family. They're now married with 2 children. Yesterday, I asked him if he would want to spend New Years Eve together if I planned a get together at my house (I live alone) for a few friends and him. MjM2NzcyODM2MTM5NWEyOTRjNTg1YjMyNmQ5YjJmODRmYjc1ZGQ1MDE0ZDA4 Does your boyfriend choose his mother over you? Im not going to give up on him. Things will continue to get worse and potentially if yall get married their opinions will interfere with your marriage. ZjI3MmZiZDYyYmM3NDg0ODMxNWYwZTgyM2QzNzhhYWRmMTc1OTg0OGY4ODky Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? Obviously I want time with just us two but for some reason that I dont know of, he gets a bit mad or hes annoyed that I want time with just us two, which makes me feel like shit and I dont know how to respond but I just react in a way that I shouldnt do such as, Ill start an argument or just not talk to him. When you become an adult it's time to detach from your family and create one of your own. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. I kept asking now she hates me. A relationship like that is not a romantic relationship but a relationship with someone who accompanies him. At the end of the day he will choose his children over you if you kick off or refuse to speak to them. I am still struggling to understand why he chose his daughter over me. Fathers day. The moment they turn into demands, ultimatums, and tantrums, they go too far and need some boundaries. Can you imagine meeting someone for a few supervised lunches and then agreeing to bind yourself to that person for life? Now she only has to be a mom two weekends a month. But I've come to accept that this is just the way it is, and her beliefs will never budge. What you dont want though is to come on too strong. Shed do something he isnt prepared for and hurt him badly. You deserve to be with someone who chooses you! We were so close before all this happened, and now we barely speak at all. When people show you who they are, believe them. Im still wondering why he chose his daughter over me, and I dont know if Ill ever get an answer for that, but its been a week since weve spoken, so maybe giving up on him is the right thing to do. The only thing seperating us are the miles between our homes. By PopSugar Written on May 23, 2022. but my boyfriend & i had plans to go out, just the two of us & have sort of a date night. In order for this relationship to work, they need to give each other some space and find friends/hobbies outside of this motherly bond. Uhh they already made plans for just the two of them?? There are some men that have been so programmed to "choose" their mother that even when they get married the wife does not end up in first place. Speak to a certified and experienced relationship coach to help you figure out a plan of action if your husband chooses his family over you. Should I just get over it, or does anyone think I have a right to be upset? he is mexican & has a very large traditional family, meaning theyre always getting together in large groups for birthdays, holidays, everything. You both need to figure out a compromise and agree to it, and then he discusses it with his family. In 2014, I met a guy. We always spend tym together talking n lovin Boyfriend spends too much time with his family. In 2014, I met a guy. 2. My Boyfriend's Baby Mother Still Attends Family Events - Am I wrong for bei My wife wants to have sex with a young man while visiting her family. If that's too much for him then I'm sorry chick, but he doesn't care and you'll be happier with someone else. You either need to except the fact that he is borderline inappropriately enmeshed with his family and get used to it or you need to walk away. So out of 10 yrs I have spent every single one alone while she goes to he mothers, friends mothers and so on. Sit down with him and let him it cant continue. Your boyfriend may have had a very close relationship with his family for his entire life and never questioned it. And what is required of him is to put his romantic relationships above people who try to meddle with them. Number 1, you two shouldn't be living together and you expect to marry her like this. YjMyNjdmYjM0ZjM1M2FjZGY3ZTBhZDM0ODU2YzExMDQzYmNmOTMzMmIyMzE2 This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. I'm so lonely and I feel so abandoned. You are his family too. And then she left him so she could screw around. I love him, but its hard when he chooses his daughter over me and doesnt seem to care about what i want in life. I've told him I feel this way and of course he told his parents and sister. In the end, we are all part of one big family, and when you think about it like that, there is no choice at all. Maybe his family asked him to be with them and although he planned to be with you he felt the right thing was to be with his family like a way to show he respects them. ZSI6IjRjYzg2N2NhOTg4YzU1M2IwOGYwMTYwNTc3ZTUxNjE5MmQ2ZWMyODIx Her role is to be supportive of her sons decisions and encourage him to deal with his mistakes maturely. or situations/content involving minors. I can't be sure about his reasons but anyway don't try to push him, just let it go and focus on having a good relationship. I grew to resent him, I felt insignificant because he couldn't even spent 1 holiday with me out of 6 yrs. Overall, I try to be understanding. He's living the high life and probably enjoys Tom's . eyJtZXNzYWdlIjoiZmJkNDZiMjEwMmU5NDg2ODY1NTU3MDIwOWU4YzI0NmQz Compromise somewhere!!!! Guys Get Better With Time: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later? This isnt just unhealthy but also damaging to the relationship. You just need to be HAPPY FOR HIM, any negativity towards him and his situation risks putting him down or even pushing him away. Hes not just going to magically change. Therefore questions . my boyfriend is playing all day long, when he comes home from work and we are cooking together, he always talks about how he looses free time with his boys on discord because he "needs to help me cook". In all these years, youre not good to be with him and his family? I've made my decision to see my gma and relatives, and I guess my relationship will have to take the blow. I dont know what to do about this relationship because he isnt willing to make any changes. Not because she loves you. and our My fiance has grown children & I dont mind that they came to take him to the movies but after the movie he called to say im going to hang out at my sons house. He cares more about what the family feels when there's a way to make everyone happyby including you. . Maybe for your bf also. And hurt, hed rather not get. MTdkZGFhMzY0ZGQ3ZDgzMzk1OWNkMWJiNTI4MGYzMDFjNTM2OTUxM2Y5ZmE5 Its not something that I could ever think about having to go through, and he didnt deserve this at all. I want to spend time with him. how to make your boyfriend choose you over his family, my boyfriend always chooses his family over me, My boyfriend's family is ruining our relationship, My boyfriends mom is ruining our relationship, The Difference Between Love You And I Love You. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. And that wont solve any problems. My girlfriend has asked me to spend Christmas with her knowing that all my family are coming from a few states away. same, I dont have family to spend the holidays with. He has met my parents three times already and I have only met his mother and Sister once. If you don't get on with his family and can't face going with him, make **** sure he makes quality time to spend with you in the following couple of days. Just as I have my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they are. Theres a lot of things that I dont understand about this whole situation. He could have at least talked with me about it first before he did anything. He is at her house 2xs daily sometimes 3. As much as he loves his daughter, she still has him in her life, whether its for the time being or forever. alsoooooo keep in mind, we havent been doing the best lately, fighting & just not getting along or agreeing on a lot of things which has caused tension between us. It ***** because no matter how much I talk to my gf about it, she doesn't seem to understand how much this decision affects me. Your best bet for the current situation is to tell him to go to this and make it up to you later. Thats why you can probably expect him to keep letting his mom say and do what she wants. Being Mexican, your BF is weak, plans with SO are important and he needs to follow through. Need help with your relationship? I am still struggling to understand why he chose his daughter over me. My boyfriend had to choose between mom and girlfriend. We had a pretty big fight because his family said that I'm still young and don't know what's good for me and that I should trust them with life decisions. I'm thinking of ending my 4yr. You are learning this now. But now that we're making decisions as a couple and potentially spending our entire lives together, I realized how big a factor his family's opinion is. Dont get me wrong. I dont know what I did wrong. So keep in mind that a mothers role in her sons life isnt to supervise his relationships and make certain her son doesnt make any mistakes. HELP! We've been together ever since. Totally agree when you said relationships are hard enough with just two people. And it's not just buying a house. If he is prepared, you can give him some healthy suggestions on how to make you a priority and his mother someone he speaks with (not over-relies on). This article was originally published at PopSugar. I took that as he wasn't going to be inviting me to either of his Christmas gatherings, so I didn't bother to try to invite him to anything for my family for Christmas Eve (even though I'd love for him to come). 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