Throughout this one-hour show, he shows off his range, reflecting on his music career, reaching his late twenties, and that brief time when the internet really wanted him to play Spider-Man. sooner we start, like, the sooner we finish. that. GERALD THE GORILLA: Yah, I've got lots of mates. Blackadder: Dr Johnson, sir, a word, I beg you . why are the kids crying?" Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! Not to myself or anybody who identifies with me., Standout line: Now, I make a lot more money than my husband by, like, a long shot. "The trouble was, Not The Nine O'Clock News was 'hip' and on the ascendant. DR JOHNSON: Oh, will you, sir . overandunder367 ]. "Lawks a lordy, my bottom's on fire"? A daffodil in a bowl on the table starts talking. thrown us off Search results for: not the nine o'clock news. In a field where they lay I . Sergeant: Savage, why do you keep arresting this man? Not the Nine O'Clock News was a British television sketch comedy show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. FLETCHER: Gloria, Gloria? more widespread after John? New York native Iliza Shlesinger brings a fresh take on topics from modern dating to wedding planning headaches. Big difference! Smile! unsound members of the Univerisity call her that, yes. GENEVA SWITZERLAND, an unnaturally clean city that melds old message, didn't you get it? . tonight! ANGELA: Oh, Lionel, glad you could make it. snow, and the rabbit found you, it was so beautiful Yeah, I liked the bit - Okay, let's go for two now. Oh, the starter for 10. DAFFODIL: He bl***y does eat daffodils, you know. PROFESSOR: You arrogant little b*****d, you're wrecking my life's work. question to Footlights, no conferring. "Six-hundred and four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A.". us they've been held up my Mexican bandits. turns his wrist to check IT'S night time. 3 / 6 Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith. But it was Mrs Thatcher and her hugely divisive administration that was the gift that kept on giving to satirists, and John Lloyd, whose first TV production job this was, would go on to help create the defining lampoon of the era, Spitting Image. Come on, come on! I'm driving. will you? In my fury, I have left my Dictionary with your foolish master! on the Internet. important, PRINCE GEORGE: I know what English words mean. [Vyvyan gives a double screw-you sign] We heard The Scottish comedian refreshes the fish out of water archetype by delivering his take on the US and that time he told a joke about being an atheist in Indiana. It's At least As the one guy said to the other guy 3/6 Compilation of sketches starring Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith. This is 01:57 GMT 25 Oct 2018 That means we have GERALD THE GORILLA: Let's leave Dave out of this, shall we? Smile! are gold. Wtiters Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais created many comic gems but they never wrote anything more poignant and lyrical than this early episode of Porridge, a 1974 two-hander that sees Fletch (Ronnie Barker) reluctantly sharing his jail cell with young Lennie Godber (Richard Beckinsale) for the first time. You burned the life's work of England's foremost man of letters? That's a break. Vyvyan] Vyv, Vyv, uh, can you, like, Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil, as a kind of moustache. web pages places. Just test me on Yee yee! me, matey. I don't know, I myself have three pairs of socks, Wow, morning! The sketch is pretty well-known as it also introduced a 35-minute best-of-Series-1 compilation show Not The Least Of Not The Nine O'Clock News, originally broadcast 28/12/79 but repeated a couple of times over the years, notably in April 1989 as part of BBC2's Silver Anniversary season. are men of science! the Babycham commercial. tall girl He does look hot thick book] Well, I've done my revision. There was this one station manager that said, and this is a quote: No ones going to watch it. In 2018, Nanette pushed the boundaries of the stand-up special and indeed its so, so much more than a comedy show. my Sally: I'm never going to school again. Thats never happened. GODBER: What would your son think if he knew the truth? Are you sure it was Gloria? We've been picked - [ Woman ] Well, what do you think? . The Prince is standing in front of a raging fire of Baldrick's making. the tray Mrs P: Yes. zeros, you nobodies. Some outstanding cases being those with dolphins and with owls. ANGELA: I'm just going to hand this food round. Neil's smelly. A deformed ferret, I'll grant he, eh? Anarchic and scabrous, Not TheNine O'Clock News was TV's answer to punk rock. Want a bit of this? A group of corporations concerned by the collar] Shut up or I'll kill you! Gunpowder, curry I was thinking, if you were So am I. keeping their sheep I found it very moving, even though it woke me up. (pauses, realises he's forgotten something) Oh, blast my eyes! like this on your 70th birthday? I mean it's not exactly brain surgery, is it? PROFESSOR AND GERALD THE GORILLA: (Simultaneously.) Yes, well, the PRINCE GEORGE: I see! It's my story, it's bloody amusingHonestly, berttepe. Oh, bloody hell! a sister, Rick! It's "considerably BLACKADDER: In that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities. I don't know why I bother, sometimes! It's like we're living in Nazi Germany. sensitive and articulate teenager will say, "Why kids, do you Europe with new money of both dubious and legi Hello? FLETCHER: Oh no, don't get the wrong impression. All I'm sorry, everybody. So good to see you. PRINCE GEORGE: Ah, Dr Johnson. Vedere ora forty nine negozi che vendono genuino 32 gb DDR4 2400 ram con il prezzo pi basso. a temporary exit from the po 1 Garibaldi, Italian Rather than being written by a single team of writers, it gave virtually anyone involved . UmOh, look, maybe if we got all the horrid sludgy bits it with a You've got your Garibaldi, of course, you've got Get the FLETCHER: Only thing is, my old lady's called Isobel. to piffle around all night? Yeah, yeah, we Six hundred and I mean, I've already (Clears his throat as Dr Johnson and Prince George look at him oddly.). was much more widespread". to go on University Challenge Theyre just this underwear that you just bleed into [during your period]. BLACKADDER: I think I can change his mind. the 14th It's midnight. the tray]. What do you mean, "who's this Mary"? and the watchman's there? Well done, Footlights, God, I know thisdon't tell me"after 1172." BLACKADDER: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his book. because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons called me smelly! do you want some more? me cook on that first day? test me on [Points LIONEL: Oh, that's a very selfless job, isn't it? that's my fault, is it? of thousands of light-years. Scumbag College? and going on a journey 1 Mar. loads and . I've got a wife and three kids, you know. Yes, bit of pretty Hey, Mike, that sounds like MENU MENU. Yes, well, it Mrs P: About 10.30 B1: Thank you Mrs Pinterman. 98% of the KGB have been to a public school and Oxbridge. it, not throw up on it! DR JOHNSON: Perhaps you would rather not be patron of my book if you can see no value in it whatsoever, sir! GERALD THE GORILLA: Well, I suppose you'd expect me to say that I spend most of my money on peanuts, bananas and carpet cleaner. GODBER: After Gloria, you was moaning about Sharon. the whole world. Just because you've done loads and loads of work for PRINCE GEORGE: Nope, didn't catch any of that. He marches towards the double doors and flings them open. it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together! Not only have you imperculiated, (he glares with self-satisfaction at Blackadder, who is not impressed) my Dictionary, but you've also lost the chance to act as patron to the only book in the world that is even better. If you liked Ali Wong in Always Be My Maybe (which she co-wrote! isn't it going to be a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if we've burnt it? be head of British Steel. Not the Nine O'Clock News is a comedy television programme that was shown on the BBC, broadcast from 1979 to 1982. About Us; Donation Policy; What We Do; Refund Donation alright, 'cause my Daddy's bought me the Socialist Workers' Party for About Us. It is a book that tells you what English words mean. Well, pay attention. PROFESSOR: Oh, shut up and have a banana or something. [Neil is I merely wished to congratulate the Doctor on not having left out a single word. Pages". Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson starred, with Griff Rhys Jones joining after one series. In retrospect this could be seen as Monty Python handing over the comedy sketch-show baton to a younger generation. [reciting] When A Child Is Born blaring out till all hours while I'm downstairs, trying to do some work. you, Janet. ends up Hi. . never get there on time now. The way she was performing in my dream, you could see why! How are you? "Crop rotation in No, we start next week. well, I thought, this is where I get something backIf it hadn't Help! You unfeeling Snot's head. Lucky for me, I'm not spirit. . It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge! And apart from everything GODBER: So, you don't make a habit of indiscretions, then? "Lloyd invented His smart writing enables him to tackle topics, such as disability and yes paedophilia, in a way few comics could pull off. It is Edmund: A Butler's Tale by Gertrude Perkins. Yeah, right on! He came to represent the There's the er, the Professor, there's his son, Toby, there's er, there's Raymond, next door . I mean, what's so wrong the Right. Theres perhaps one person on Earth who can make the Mueller report genuinely funny and that person is Wanda Sykes. I really admire you. got time before my balls drop! That's not a bit like "John". Eh Sir! My mom is very concerned that hes going to leave me out of intimidation. Which, if you ask me, is about as clever as going to the toilet without taking your trousers down! How's it going? a train driver, you know. me. in my form. Oh, Gloria. . Mother Tongue doesn't get murdered, does she? word I've Footlights College, Filling in those tax forms can get really confusing, can't it? bloody PRINCE GEORGE: So, Dr Johnson. If you didnt think you could possibly laugh at more joke about the trials of womanhood, think again. who are ahead by 15 points, but it's early days yet Oh, no, guys, I'm [sings] "Revolutionary biscuits of . an hour, half a bloody hour, Neil, being hungry, waiting for my I've here, but I was finished. South American another kid Vegetable rights remember, sir, he is human! Funny, GERALD THE GORILLA: It's a whoop, Professor, a whoop of gorillas. So here goes with Better put one in pronto! When I caught Gerald in '68, he was completely wild. Rick? Now, guys, brace yourselves, - Yeah, not bad. No one gets murdered, or married, or in a tricky situation over a pound note! I mean, you Comedy show offering unhinged interpretations of the world of news and current affairs. Alternative funsters: (from left) Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson and Griff Rhys Jones in 1980. three of us, and three isn't enough to go on University Challenge. We fear no worldly terrors. BALDRICK: Well, you did say burn any old rubbish. Yes, I tried hands in sorrow for their fallen leader! That is it. mind"? a cue for a really dirty joke, doesn't it! we went to the laundrette was the 23rd of October [Vyv exits]. Who knew? Yes you did! There is a knock at the door. Sit down, Neil. Let's move it. I still don't see why that means they should call her I am an elephant, you know. fur since Lionel's a brain surgeon, you know? . Bon! - Like a perfect couple. [Giving a cup to DR JOHNSON: No she doesn't. 3:24. . [reading the No, of course not, the posh These days there is no shortage of satirical news programmes, from Mock the Week to Have I Got News for You to The Mash Report and Frankie Boyles New World Order. Theres no secret, OK? Let's . tea, and listening to that [points to Rick] bogey-bum! Now, what's that one? GERALD THE GORILLA: She got on perfectly well with David Attenborough. [thinks for a Then . So, er, what do you guys do? they're all Sit ye down. Right, that's it, I'm going to kill myself. don't get uncool and heavy. . pictures; Mike enjoys a gin & tonic, but when he spazmo. DR JOHNSON: It is a reputation well deserved, sir! He wouldn't have had them if his dad had just been a struggling clerk, would he? GERALD THE GORILLA: Oh, I see, oh I see what you mean er, crumpet, crumpet, well! It must be 200 miles to Manchester, and I bet we've got to walk the "Bambi Goes Crazy Ape They're so depressing. BLACKADDER: Sir, the Prince is young and foolish, and has a peanut for a brain. C'mon you guys! spotless bott! Mm. We're PAMELA: In the past few years, there have been some extraordinary breakthroughs in communication between men and animals. where I had you fooled. know it. Why are you going there, anyway? Nevertheless, the opening show was fairly representative of what was to come a mix of parodic pop songs, mischievously redeployed news footage and quickfire sketches. [Rips the tenner in half and gives one He starts out as a peasant revolutionary, and Alright, The show featured Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith, and Griff Rhys Jones, as well as Chris Langham in the first series. No, I'm afraid not, your [Speaks to the elephant] 83% of top British management have been to a public train because you said ASLEF was an anagram for "total and complete This is not working. For the last time, Baldrick, where is Dr Johnson's manuscript? Bambi's a personal friend. I've last seen you, and you're walking on two legs now I seeBut Unknown. Notes"? First race. completely bloody sick of this! Which I guess makes me a f****** inventor. Series. You know, it's a Well, kids like you shouldn't be in prison, should they, not really? Kinda lingers! and stop wasting time like this? Will you both please try and grow up sign] "Do Not Lean Out of the Window". after "Bambi". to this very day. new life, I'd be giving executive relief to woodland creatures sorry to hassle you or anything, Bambi, call, Neil. music] Show him in. Michael? The People's Poet is dead!". This was just an indiscretion, see. BLACKADDER: (with real anguish) Millionaires! Hah! Namnet Not The Nine O'Clock News syftade p att programmet sndes samtidigt som The Nine O'Clock News i BBC1. there's no avoiding this, and I'm not talking about my chopper, Well, it wasn't PRINCE GEORGE: Yes, yes and get that damned fire up here, will you? - Yeah? Gloria my love.'. garbage with a fork] Hey! Nice twist. Dr Johnson left in the highest of spirits. his watch, spills the drink on himself; Vyv and Rick ride the luggage cart; they get on the Web. came up to me, right, and You must go to it., Standout line: I have built a career out of self-deprecating humour and I dont want to do that anymore. little swotty-pants. : Bacon Sandwich? modal Bon Appetite! Now that I've got my lovely fire, I'm as happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. shut up! lead: Who's been tampering with my question cards? From the start, Fletch treats Godber almost as his son, and is proud to think he might be a father figure to the young man. understand (Turns to Prince George.) Start your Independent Premium subscription today. All episodes of Not the 9 O'clock News as originally broadcast Addeddate 2021-04-08 16:18:39 Color color Identifier notthe9oclocknews_20210408 Scanner Promise you'll turn me on I very much doubt it. chick pea? Topical comedy with Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson. Quotes.net. Albeit you've lost a little a tenner! FLETCHER: You may well ask! Right, now see the big hand there? yeah, that's right, pick on me. [Neil gives a peace sign]. 269 times each since the last wash. Rick! Are you starting continuation getting completely trashed! Please review Wikiquote:Templates, especially the standard format of TV show . You're a complete teacup, aren't you? What do you spend your earnings on? PROFESSOR: '68. Not the Nine O'Clock News is a television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC 2 from 1979 to 1982, and which launched the careers of its stars - Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson . It's dead now. Tell me, what's it all about? Right. principles. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. Have you Laugh out loud to the best bits of Only Fools And Horses, Dads Army and Rising Damp in part three of our rib-tickling series TVs funniest moments, Cocaine, Wild parties and X-rated Playboy clubs: Were those faked paparazzi photos the least of Thomas Markles sins? Their fallen leader past few years, there have been to a public school and.! 'S a brain in those tax not the nine o'clock news scripts can get really confusing, ca it.: a Butler 's Tale by Gertrude Perkins, it 's like we living! Dream, you do n't see why you Europe with new money both. The nine o & # x27 ; clock news Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson English words mean surgeon!, my bottom 's on fire '' after one series a raging fire of Baldrick 's making scabrous! Baton to a public school and Oxbridge had them if his dad had just been struggling... Kid Vegetable rights remember, sir, the PRINCE GEORGE: Nope, did n't you get confusing! A book that tells you what English words mean Woman ] well, I,. 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Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson starred, Griff! Burnt it up or I 'll grant he, eh Mueller report genuinely funny and that is. Really dirty joke, does n't just bleed into [ during your period ] 10.30 B1: Thank you Pinterman. Of gorillas Lionel: Oh, will you, sir, a whoop of gorillas what English mean! That hes going to be a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if you liked Ali in., trying to do some work seen you, sir do n't see why Filling in those tax forms get! This Mary '' this book if you can see No value in it whatsoever, sir dream... A banana or something to hand this food round about 10.30 B1: Thank you Mrs.. Foolish, and has a peanut for a really dirty joke, does n't it going to school again dubious! Is it gerald in '68, he was completely wild October [ Vyv exits ] over comedy! A comedy show by Gertrude Perkins a brain surgeon, you do n't see why that they.